The family series 'Parenting: What Google Doesn't Say' from The Better India documents how real families raise children, offering honest and diverse views on everyday parenting challenges that search engines cannot always explain.
A special atmosphere is created when children spend time in their grandparents' homes. Breakfast might last longer, familiar faces gather around the table, and ordinary moments—a cup of tea, a walk in the garden, a shared snack—turn into unforgettable memories.
This happened with four-year-old Udyan during his three-week stay with his Nana-Nani (grandparents) in Haridwar in July. However, he brought back not new duties or habits, but a deeper understanding of what it means to belong to many people at once.
Udyan's mother, Khushbu Goel, notes that the Nana-Nanis live in a large family home resembling a haveli, where several families reside under one roof. 'But what stands out particularly is the bond that the families have built over the years and which has supported each other for decades,' she says.
Udyan, who will soon turn four, is accustomed to participating in daily life. Born in Dehradun, he lives with his parents in Mussoorie, where his childhood was filled with long walks and household chores. His parents, who work from home, involve him in simple tasks: washing, drying laundry in the sun, watering plants, helping with cooking, making tea, and serving snacks to guests. Thus, the grandparents' homes did not introduce him to entirely new activities but demonstrated how these daily actions look when an entire community participates together.
A Home Where Everyone Feels Part Of
In the Nana-Nanis' home in Haridwar, the concepts of 'my house' and 'your house' practically disappear. Udyan might have breakfast in one house and lunch in another. He might clean coriander for someone, ask another family what they cooked, or join a small gathering where someone organized a samosa or tea party.
Khushbu emphasizes: 'There is no counting of who did what for whom.' Someone might host a samosa party, another a tea party, or simply cook what Udyan asks for. They do these small things for each other naturally.
For the child, there is no formal lesson here. He simply observes people yielding places to each other, helping without being asked, and supporting one another. 'I think observation is one of the best teachers for children,' believes Khushbu. 'No one needs to sit Udyan down and explain love, compassion, generosity, or care when he is with his Nana-Nanis.'
Lessons Are Also Taught in Dada-Dadi's Garden
Other of Udyan's grandparents live in Dehradun, and the time spent with them brings a different kind of learning. His Dadi loves growing vegetables in her kitchen garden, including eggplant, zucchini, mint, corn, and leafy greens. Udyan sees all the labor put into growing something before it reaches the table.
'We often talk about organic food and growing our own vegetables, but seeing his grandmother do it makes these ideas much more real,' shares Khushbu. This is another classroom-free lesson—observation, helping, and understanding that food requires time, effort, and care.
What He Takes With Him
The most significant change Khushbu notices after these visits is not a new routine. It is how much Udyan misses the people he spent time with. Perhaps this is the most valuable thing he learned.
'My parents always told me: 'You are not just my child; you are the child of everyone in the house',' recalls Khushbu. 'I grew up hearing this for the first 17 years of my life.' Now she sees a reflection of this idea in her own son.
In his grandparents' homes, Udyan sees people who give without counting merits, finding joy in small gatherings, growing food with their own hands, and sharing what they have. 'He sees that doing something for others can bring happiness to oneself,' says Khushbu.
To Udyan, this might seem like just long days with Nana-Nani, time in Dada's garden, and meals with loved ones. But for his mother, it is an experience that can subtly shape his understanding of relationships for years to come. 'Udyan experiences this without anyone needing to explain it to him,' she concludes. 'I believe this will influence how he views life and builds relationships.'
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