As Suicide Prevention Awareness Month begins, the South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG) strongly urges people to overcome silence and start conversations that can save lives.
According to SADAG data, approximately 23 people die by suicide in South Africa every day, and another 460 attempt suicide.
Lidel Radju, a 33-year-old resident of Shalcross, and a 28-year-old man from Durban who wished to remain unnamed, shared their personal stories of struggle and survival. They hope that open conversations can lead to healing.
Mental Health
Radju, who works as a nurse, recounted feeling prone to suicide even before she could write the word. She noted that it started in primary school, and while no specific trigger was apparent, she recognized the feeling.
Her first suicide attempt occurred at age 15. She took a bottle of cough syrup to induce drowsiness, but it resulted in a bad outcome: instead of falling into a deep sleep, she felt severe nausea and malaise. Two years later, she took about 20 painkillers belonging to her mother. Upon waking the next day, she felt disappointed.
At 22, after receiving distressing news about past relationships, she consumed a mixture of medications. However, this plan also failed. Her cousin discovered a 'farewell' letter she had written and rushed her to the hospital.
After this incident, she met a psychologist for the first time, whom she described as rude and arrogant. He stated that she was depressed due to a lack of pride in her appearance and friends, which led her to stop seeking further help.
At 30, Radju reported being in a toxic relationship and feeling cornered. She attempted suicide again, believing it was the only way out. She took sleeping medication. Nevertheless, she ended up in the hospital. This was her last attempt, and now she embraces each day. Although she sometimes falls into a dark pit, she stays connected with her family and takes medication for depression and anxiety.
She added that in moments of darkness, she manages to pull through because she has to go to work. The only state of peace she experiences is in church, where she finally feels at home, something she has desired her whole life.
Radju also mentioned that people with mental health issues are often stigmatized as 'attention seekers.' She emphasized that outwardly life may appear perfect, but no one knows about the inner demons. Many people, including herself, do not seek help due to fear of judgment, and some topics are taboo in families, hindering access to necessary support. In her opinion, families should foster an atmosphere of open communication.
A 25-year-old administrative clerk, who feared judgment over his sexuality, carried the burden of silence. He shared that in adolescence, his mental health deteriorated to a point where he could no longer cope.
He noted that looking back, he probably carried too much to process at that age. As a gay man, he tried to understand himself and navigate the feelings and questions of his identity in an environment where difference was not always easy. At the time, he lacked emotional maturity or the language to explain what was happening. He felt overwhelmed and isolated, and even among people, he felt no one could understand what was going on in his head. There was much sadness, confusion, and hopelessness, and he felt the need to hide his experiences, learning to pretend everything was fine.
At ages 16 and 19, he attempted suicide by taking medication for chronic conditions such as hypertension. Eventually, he realized he couldn't carry everything alone and sought help. However, seeking help was difficult due to the fear of being judged, misunderstood, or categorized. Being gay during adolescence added another layer of anxiety about what others might think and whether they would accept him. Sometimes silence seems safer than the risk of rejection. But people noticed that he had changed. He believes others might see signs before he is ready to admit them.
He reported that recovery was not an easy path. It resulted from self-discovery, accepting the need for help, and allowing others into parts of his life that he kept hidden. Professional support and supportive friends accepted him as he was. He learned that vulnerability is not weakness, and asking for help is a sign of strength, and his identity is not something to apologize for. Being gay is part of him, but it does not define his entire story.
He advised those who feel in a dark place not to try to solve their entire lives in one day. Sometimes the goal is simply to get through the day and give oneself a chance to see what tomorrow brings. He knows what it is like to believe there is no way out, and he knows that life can change in ways you cannot imagine, even at the darkest point.
Cathy Chambers, Operations Director of SADAG, stressed the importance of understanding and responding to the pain underlying the crisis, as the primary cause of suicide is undiagnosed or untreated depression. She noted that SADAG often emphasizes that a person may not want their life to end, but desperately wants their pain to stop.
Chambers stated that suicide prevention must be broader than just crisis response; it must create opportunities for earlier help to address mental health issues, trauma, substance abuse, financial and interpersonal stress, loneliness, and all other factors that might make a person feel overwhelmed. Ultimately, prevention is about helping a person see that the crisis they are experiencing is not necessarily permanent, even if it feels that way right now.
Chambers also pointed to the persistent fear of being judged, labeled, or seen as weak if one admits to difficulties. She urged: 'If someone says they are not well, we must listen without judging, lecturing, or trying to fix everything immediately.'
Signs of anxiety include sudden withdrawal from family and friends, loss of interest in favorite activities, significant changes in mood, sleep patterns, or eating habits. Increased risk, increased alcohol or drug consumption, and a growing sense of hopelessness or depression are also observed. People may say they are a burden or hint that people would be better off without them. A sudden feeling of calm after a period of intense stress can also be a warning sign that should not be ignored.
SADAG's message was clear: every conversation matters, and it is okay not to feel okay. 'You don't have to stay there. There is help and hope.'
