For some families in the UAE, morning hours before school can turn into daily negotiations: helping a teenager get out of bed, addressing complaints of fatigue, and determining whether it is simply a reluctance to start the day or if a more serious problem is hidden.
Specialists note that the reasons why a teenager does not want to go to school can be diverse. They range from lack of sleep and late gadget use to academic pressure, issues with friends, anxiety, or a feeling of disconnection from the educational process.
Occasional unwillingness to attend classes is usually considered normal during adolescence. However, if this state becomes constant, begins to affect attendance, or is accompanied by physical or emotional symptoms, parents should look for causes beyond the morning routine.
Stephanie Watson, Deputy Head of Secondary at the British International School Abu Dhabi, emphasized that the reasons can vary greatly: some students worry about grades or performance, while others may face difficulties with friendships, social pressure, or anxiety.
Watson stated: 'We understand that occasional reluctance to come to school can be a normal part of adolescence. However, when this reluctance becomes constant or starts affecting attendance, well-being, or engagement, we investigate more closely what might be causing it.'
Joseph Sebastian, Vice President of Administration and Student Affairs and Head of Pastoral Care, Inclusion, and Wellbeing at Woodlem Park School Dubai, noted that teenagers can experience difficulties in the mornings for numerous reasons, including lack of sleep, long commutes, bullying, and academic pressure.
He added: 'Teenagers may be reluctant to attend school in the morning for a number of reasons, including insufficient sleep, late-night screen use, long journeys, academic pressure, friendship problems, bullying, anxiety, or a feeling of detachment from school. Natural changes in circadian rhythms during puberty can also make early rising particularly difficult.'
Sebastian stressed the importance of distinguishing between episodic and recurring behavior. He explained that random complaints, tiredness, or a slow morning usually do not cause concern. Nevertheless, repeated refusal accompanied by headaches, stomach aches, tearfulness, irritability, withdrawal, declining academic performance, changes in friendships, or frequent absences may indicate a deeper issue.
Furthermore, parents are advised to pay attention to whether the reluctance occurs before any specific lesson, test, or on certain days.
Clinical psychologist Asra Sawar from Aster Clinic, Discovery Gardens, and Bur Dubai reported that tiredness itself does not necessarily indicate a problem. She noted that a tired teenager might complain upon waking but usually calms down after waking up and their daily routine begins. If there is an underlying problem, distress is often more stable, such as anxiety before school, physical symptoms in the morning at school, or a strong reaction to a specific class, teacher, or peer group.
Sawar advised parents to consider what is happening outside of school. Excessive screen time, social media pressure, attempts to fit in, maintaining an image, and meeting academic or family expectations can emotionally exhaust teenagers. Parents should try to understand the situation rather than immediately labeling it as laziness.
Dr. Riyad Jabbar Khodrier, consulting psychiatrist at NMC Royal Hospital, Sharjah, pointed out that sleep is another important aspect. He recommended that parents first focus on when the difficulty arises and if anything else has changed. He explained that a tired teenager might have trouble waking up but feel better after adequate sleep and generally adapt at school. A teenager suffering from anxiety or another school-related problem may experience pre-school stress, regularly complain of morning malaise at school, or fear a specific lesson, person, or situation.
Khodrier added that adolescents aged 13 to 18 typically require eight to ten hours of sleep, so establishing a sleep schedule is an important first step when a child has trouble getting up in the morning.
One parent from the UAE, Najila Abdullah, whose daughter is in Grade 12 and son in Grade 9, shared that setting clear boundaries regarding phones and study time helped her children establish a routine. She admitted that the children are mostly motivated and enjoy going to school, but sometimes her daughter feels very tired and experiences mood swings or feels unwell due to physical changes.
Abdullah also mentioned that the family now adheres to a strict phone policy: devices are kept out of bedrooms at night. She collects the phones at 10:00 PM because she noticed they were online at 4 or 5 AM. Now, the rule in the house is that everyone, including adults, must keep phones out of bedrooms, and old mechanical clocks are used for alarms.
Schools also assert that reducing uncertainty can help students who are anxious about attending classes. Watson mentioned that BIS Abu Dhabi focuses on providing students with clarity regarding grades, schedule changes, upcoming events, and support plans. Her pastoral teams work closely with students and families to understand the root cause of any reluctance to attend school. Instead of focusing solely on behavior, they aim to identify and address the underlying reason so that students feel confident, supported, and can participate fully in school life.
Sebastian advises parents to start a conversation rather than immediately applying consequences. He emphasized that when a child repeatedly says they do not want to go to school, it is important to remain curious about what is causing that feeling. By working together to understand the root cause, practical strategies and support can be found to help students feel successful, connected, and confident at school.
Khodrier similarly advises parents to directly ask the teenager what makes school difficult, without accusation, and to listen first before contacting the school. He concluded: 'Parents can ask without blame: 'What seems most difficult about attending school right now?' Listen first, and then, if necessary, contact the school. There is no single sign that proves the cause; if the pattern continues or affects attendance and daily life, seek professional help.'
