Although it is often observed that young children cry during their first visit to school, experts note that sometimes the tears are caused by the parents themselves. Seema, a mother from Dubai, initially thought the process of taking her child to school was simple; her older child did not cry on the first day, and she was also calm. However, upon returning to the car with her husband, her state changed drastically. She recalls: 'I felt my chest tighten, and I couldn't breathe.' Although she managed during the drop-off, once she sat in the car, she was overwhelmed.
She got through the first day with the help of her husband, who gave her water and helped her use breathing techniques. But for the next ten days, every drop-off ended the same way: Seema would sit in the car and cry. This happened ten years ago. Now her daughter is developing well, and two other children have started school without causing such a reaction.
Dr. Nada Omer, a consultant psychiatrist at Burjeel Hospital in Abu Dhabi, explains that this parental anxiety is more common than parents are willing to admit. According to her, it is usually related to separation anxiety in both directions, not just in the child. For many parents, this can cause a feeling of grief associated with a major developmental stage passing, such as realizing that 'my little one is growing up.'
She also points out that this can be a consequence of unresolved attachment patterns or a reflection of emotional exhaustion and overload during a significant life transition. In most cases, Dr. Omer notes, it is a normal reaction to adaptation, provided it does not become constant or interfere with daily life.
Asra Sawar, a clinical psychologist from Aster Clinic, asserts that preparation should begin at an emotional level, not just a practical one. She advises parents not only to introduce children to school, teachers, and daily routines but also to openly discuss what feelings might arise during separation.
Dr. Nada suggested visiting the classroom beforehand, starting a sleep schedule one to two weeks before classes begin, and practicing short periods of separation through joint games or time spent with grandparents. She also advised parents to work on their own emotions, such as keeping a diary or talking to other parents, to cope with these feelings before they reach the school gates.
Both experts agree that children are very sensitive to their parents' emotions. Dr. Nada emphasized that an anxious parent can unintentionally amplify a child's worry during drop-off. Her simple advice to parents is: 'Leave as if you are sure, even if you are not sure yourself.' Asra recommended a short, predictable farewell ritual—a hug, one encouraging sentence, a clear goodbye. She also insisted on acknowledging the feelings of both children and parents. Instead of saying, 'There is nothing to be afraid of,' parents can say, 'I know you are nervous and might miss me, but you are safe, and your teacher will help you.' This nuance is important because it allows acknowledging the emotion without confirming fear as a reason to avoid school. Over time, the child learns: 'I can feel nervous and still do it.'