Mia Ardern, author of the book 'How to Stop Being a Naai,' uses humor and elements of local flavor (Kaaps) to explore themes of morality, responsibility, forgiveness, and the complexity of human behavior.
At first glance, the book 'How to Stop Being a N**i' may raise doubts among some readers due to its language. Since it is written in Kaaps and contains profanity, it might seem harsh to a more conservative audience. However, as the plot develops, this language becomes an integral part of the work's identity, reflecting the characters' manner of speaking, jokes, insults, and relationships.
The beginning of the book features a glossary that helps readers understand the specific language before Ardern moves on to another question: what exactly does 'n**i' mean? Among the definitions is an inattentive, empathetic-less person, as well as a more direct definition of 'a k@k person.' Readers are even given the opportunity to add their own definitions or notes.
The central figure of the story is Lucian, a 45-year-old DJ prone to infidelity and alcohol abuse, whose relationships are on the verge of collapse. He is disillusioned with his job and clings to memories of past glory behind the DJ decks. Ardern characterizes Lucian as a 'classic n**i'—a person who is selfish, jealous, neglects family, and unfaithful.
Deciding to change, Lucian believes that nine steps can help him stop his 'niery.' This allows Ardern to interestingly play with the self-help genre using questionnaires, exercises, and the typology of 'niers.' Readers meet characters such as The Joller, The Deluxe n**i, The Baas, and The Vark.
Some questions in the book have a distinct Cape flavour, asking readers if they attended a braai without their own drinks and food, returned someone else's car with an empty tank, underpaid the waiter's tip, or drove too slowly in the fast lane. Although the humor initially makes these questions easily dismissible, they gradually become more unsettling as they touch upon themes of prejudice, relationships, and how people treat each other.
It is in this context that the book goes beyond a simple profane anecdote. Another distinguishing feature is the playlist accompanying each chapter. Songs such as Bill Withers' 'Lean on Me,' Billy Lamonti's 'Livin’ It Up,' and Karen White's 'Superwoman' were chosen to complement the chapters. The music changes the rhythm and creates a soundtrack to Lucian's story.
His relationship with his father adds another serious layer, as he confronts not only who he has become but also the baggage that contributed to it. Ardern stated on TikTok about the book that 'on a deeper level, niery is a measure of morality.' This sentiment perhaps best conveys the essence hidden beneath the humor.
Despite the fact that the profanity may not appeal to everyone, and sometimes its high frequency can distract from the plot, and the self-help format may seem overly emphasized, Ardern achieves an unexpected result: she engages the reader. The definitions, questions, and exercises constantly shift the focus from Lucian to the reader's own behaviour. Ardern asserts that 'there is a little bit of n**i in all of us.' Perhaps this is why the book is so difficult to ignore.