Specific terms are often used in modern communication that can be confusing. The article's author expresses a desire to move away from situations that can be described with just one emoji, drawing attention to phenomena such as 'ghosting' and 'zombieing.'
Despite life becoming more complicated compared to thirty years ago, the author questions why people cannot treat each other with greater respect, honesty, and kindness. They argue that there is no excuse for misleading people, lying, disappearing without a trace, ignoring, or keeping someone at a distance.
When someone is told they are not suitable, or that someone has lost feelings for them for another person, it is always unpleasant. However, there used to be dialogue, such as the phrase 'it's not you, it's me.' Now, it seems there are many different games requiring an entire vocabulary to understand.
Among these terms, 'situationship' stands out—a relationship that is more than friendship but less than a full relationship; 'delusionship,' which mostly occurs in a person's head, fueled by hopes that the partner likely does not share; and 'talking stage,' where people communicate but are not formally dating.
Next comes a more alarming part of the lexicon. 'Ghosting' means suddenly disappearing without explanation, while 'zombieing' is when the same person unexpectedly reappears in messages after months, as if nothing happened. 'Orbiting' is a situation where a person stops communicating directly but continues to follow stories and like posts in the digital space. 'Breadcrumbing' implies giving tiny signs of attention to pique interest without substantial support, and 'benching' is keeping someone in reserve while exploring other options. There is also 'slow fade,' where a person gradually reduces the frequency of messages, calls, and meetings until they disappear.
Social media has spawned its own romantic language. 'Soft launch' is hinting at a new person in one's life without explicitly introducing them, for example, through a mysterious hand in a restaurant photo. 'Hard launch' is the full introduction: face, name, photos, and everything else. Among the signs are 'green flags' (good signs), 'red flags' (warning signs), 'beige flags' (boring traits that aren't terrible but aren't exciting), and 'icks' (random little things that can instantly kill attraction).
Fortunately, not all new terminology is cause for concern. 'Rizz' comes from charisma and means having charm. 'Golden retriever boyfriend' describes a sweet, loyal, and enthusiastic partner. 'Micromance' focuses on small displays of affection instead of grand romantic gestures. 'Affordating' is the ability to date affordably, such as over coffee. 'Dry dating' means dates without alcohol, and 'wildflowering' means developing a connection naturally without a strict schedule. 'Hardballing' sounds harsh, but it is actually a sensible approach involving openly stating one's desires from the beginning. The author notes the importance of communication.
There are many abbreviations: DTR (define the relationship), LTR (long term relationship), FWB (friends with benefits), SO (significant other), and DTM (dating to marry). IRL means in real life, where, the author hopes, the meeting will happen, as there is also 'catfishing'—creating a false online identity.
More complex concepts include 'love bombing,' 'gaslighting,' 'negging,' and 'micro cheating.' These terms describe various types of behavior that can be confusing, manipulative, or hurtful. The author believes that naming these patterns can help people understand when something is going wrong.
The author does not approve of the current state of human relationships and the need to learn a new language to recognize fraud or a 'smidge of ghostlighting' (when a person disappears and then returns, pretending nothing happened). They believe that while experts say names help set boundaries, the best outcome would be a reduced need for these words.
In conclusion, the author advocates for 'conscious uncoupling'—a conscious breakup where partners communicate, acknowledge each other's feelings, and separate with respect and finality. They suggest reviving old values: honesty, kindness, respect, and communication, advising people to simply state their feelings before turning into a 'ghost' or someone's love life 'satellite.'
