Experts warn that one of the least visible gender disparities in South Africa is subtly undermining women's financial security—the growing expectation that daughters will simultaneously be caregivers and financial sponsors for aging parents.
Globally, women and girls perform approximately 16 billion hours of unpaid care daily, according to UN Women data. Although much of this labor is motivated by love and family duty, specialists note that the financial consequences of this invisible work are often overlooked.
Research conducted in South Africa shows that this burden remains predominantly gendered. A review by the Commission for Gender Equality in 2024 revealed that women continue to bear the brunt of unpaid care, including looking after elderly relatives. For many households, this responsibility defaults to adult daughters, who often act as care coordinators, financial assistants, and emergency responders, in the absence of formal planning or financial guarantees.
International studies also link unpaid care to lower lifetime earnings, reduced pension savings, and career interruptions for women. Research from organizations such as the OECD and the International Labour Organization (ILO) has shown that women taking on significant caregiving responsibilities are more likely to reduce working hours, forgo promotions, or leave the workforce entirely, leading to long-term consequences for their financial well-being.
Farzana Botha, Senior Communications Manager at Sanlam Risk and Savings, terms this phenomenon the 'daughter tax,' referring to the economic costs of becoming a family's financial pillar while managing the emotional and practical demands of eldercare.
Botha explains: 'The daughter tax is essentially a tax on empathy. Women are often socialized as caregivers, so they may lack strong financial boundaries, or they may not believe boundaries should exist when the family needs support. This responsibility can also arise early, before a woman has had time to build her own financial foundation.'
Care requires more than just financial outlay
Supporting an elderly parent involves much more than monthly money transfers. Madri Jacobs CFP®, a financial planner at Sanlam and authorized director at Brilliance BlueStar, notes that daughters often take charge of doctor's appointments, accompanying parents to clinics, handling banking matters, and coordinating domestic help. Beyond these practical tasks, there is the emotional load associated with anticipating problems, absorbing family worries, and being constantly available in times of crisis.
According to Jacobs, 'supporting elderly parents is no longer an unusual situation. The best starting point is to acknowledge that you may have to help your parents at some point and start planning for it as part of your budget and by establishing emergency funds.'
Preparation before a crisis hits
Botha argues that protecting one's own financial well-being is not selfish but a necessity for women who may support multiple generations. She recommends a combination of reserve savings, income protection, disability or incapacitation coverage, protection against serious illness, and retirement planning, calling this 'survival capital.'
'Together, this protection creates a financial foundation that helps a woman navigate difficult personal circumstances while continuing to support those who depend on her.'
Nevertheless, significant gaps in protection remain. Internal Sanlam research indicates that only 16% of women in South Africa have income protection, and 45% lack life insurance. Without adequate financial protection, a daughter supporting elderly parents risks jeopardizing both her future and her family's financial stability in case of illness, disability, or loss of income.
Jacobs advises that financial planning must account for these possibilities. 'People do not necessarily die in order of age. If your parents depend on your income, your financial plan must consider how their basic needs will be met if you can no longer provide them.'
She recommends that women work with a qualified financial advisor to identify immediate risks, understand what protection might already be available through employer benefits, and develop a plan that reflects both current solvency and future obligations.
Turning care into a sustainable plan
Experts believe that one of the biggest mistakes families make is assuming that the most reliable daughter will simply absorb all the responsibility. Instead, Botha and Jacobs advise practical planning that includes:
Creating a list of all regular and one-off expenses related to supporting elderly parents, including medical, transport, domestic, and administrative costs.
Agreeing on a sustainable monthly contribution that does not rely on loans or deplete personal savings.
Separating parental care expenses from emergency savings and daily expenditures.
Continuing retirement contributions, even if modest and regular.
Distributing financial and administrative duties among siblings and extended family members instead of relying on one person.
Maintaining important policies, medical information, financial records, and wills in an organized and easily accessible format.
Boundaries are part of responsible care
Botha emphasizes that financial boundaries should not be confused with a lack of compassion. Instead of agreeing to every request, women can set sustainable limits, such as covering medical contributions without taking on responsibility for vehicle payments, or committing to a fixed monthly payment instead of constantly relying on credit cards to cover unforeseen expenses.
As South Africa reflects on the progress and challenges facing women during Women's Month, Botha believes the conversation must go beyond care itself and encompass the financial systems that support it.
Botha concludes: 'The message of this Women's Month is not that women should turn away from their families. It is that we need regulated, structured systems that allow for sustainable support. A daughter who secures her own financial foundation can continue to play a key role in her family, showing the next generation that care and financial self-protection can coexist.'
