Children are becoming victims of lengthy proceedings in South African family courts, which face serious delays. The primary victims in custody disputes are not the parents, but the children, forced to wait for decisions about their future while adults and the judicial system make their choices.
Calls for an investigation into the justice system
A recent call from the African Transformation Movement (ATM) to Parliament to investigate fathers' access to children has reignited the discussion about the family justice system in South Africa. However, beyond political aspects, thousands of parents find themselves entangled in prolonged disputes over maintenance, custody, and parental access.
A mother from Durban, Tash Reddy, emphasizes that the problem is not about fathers' access, but about the justice system's inability to hold parents accountable. She notes that women often bear the main burden because fathers do not fulfill their part of the responsibilities. Reddy is willing to grant access to fathers but is frustrated that court procedures and delays make full co-parenting almost impossible.
Expert assessments of the problems
Danny van Loggerenberg, founder of the Child Protection Hotline, supports the ATM's call to Parliament. He believes that children often become the center of parental conflicts and warns that prolonging the conflict can irreversibly damage a child's relationship with their parents, as children's voices are often used by one side to win the case.
A study conducted by lawyer and researcher Karen Botha in 2024 showed that custody and maintenance disputes in South African family courts regularly take months, and often years. The report found that in over 46.6% of cases, maintenance matters are delayed by more than a year, leaving children in a state of uncertainty during critical developmental periods.
Legal protection and its limitations
A researcher from the University of Cape Town, Dr. Sharna-Lee Clark, noted that South Africa's legal framework strongly protects the best interests of children, but it does not directly guarantee children the right to be heard in decisions concerning their lives. According to her, when courts make decisions about children without hearing them, the outcomes can feel imposed rather than fair.
Family law attorney Sanelise 'Sanei' Mbatata reports a noticeable increase in contested custody disputes over the last decade, especially among unmarried parents, blended families, and couples undergoing high-conflict divorce. She links most conflicts to unresolved issues of care, contact, and maintenance, as well as to social media exposing children to parental conflict instead of fostering constructive solutions.
Pressure on child protection institutions
Despite South Africa's robust legal framework, Mbatata points out that child protection institutions are under significant pressure. She stresses that the Family Law Advocate's office plays a vital role but faces considerable resource limitations, leading to long waits for investigations and reports. These delays mean that children continue to live in conflict long before a case reaches a final resolution, which often alters parent-child relationships even before a court ruling.
The emotional impact of conflict
The consequences of this conflict extend far beyond the courtroom. Mari Payne, Deputy Managing Director and Senior Director of Education and Programs at Sesame Workshop International South Africa, asserts that children absorb much more from parental conflict than many adults realize. When conflict becomes constant or intense, it can disrupt a child's sense of security and emotional stability, potentially leading to anxiety, sadness, confusion, withdrawal, or concentration difficulties.
She strongly urged parents to shield children from adult arguments, emphasizing that they should never be expected to relay messages, keep secrets, or choose sides for their parents.
Risks of weaponizing disputes
Family law veteran Susan Abro agrees that children are often invisible victims of litigation. She explains that protecting children includes not only safeguarding them from physical or sexual abuse but also from emotional, psychological, and financial harm resulting from protracted, hostile family disputes or when they are used as a tool of control or punishment against another parent. Speaking during Children's Day, Abro cautioned parents against using maintenance disputes or contact agreements as weapons, noting that attempts to alienate children from one parent can have long-term consequences.
Support from civil society organizations
The ATM's call also received support from Sonke Gender Justice, which backed the parliamentary hearing on the family justice system while insisting that the best interests of the child must remain paramount. Bafana Humalo, co-founder and Executive Director of Sonke Gender Justice, stated that children should maintain meaningful relationships with all their parents unless there is a real risk of harm. He confirmed support for the call for parliamentary hearings, stating that in all circumstances, a child's interests must be sacred. Humalo also noted that Sonke's research on fatherhood consistently highlights the difficulties many fathers face in maintaining relationships with their children after divorce, but added that raising children must remain a shared responsibility.
